It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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