Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
