Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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