i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
