There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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