You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize