when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
