Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize