Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
