What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize