i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
