OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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