I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
