and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize