you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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