im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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