Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
