o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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