Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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