i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
