Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
