The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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