Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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