I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We need to get me chipped asap
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
