Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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