did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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