Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
