Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
