Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
