did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
