Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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