mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
