Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
