I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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