covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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