I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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