he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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