Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
