If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
