I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
