I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
