We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
