okay pat passed out under dana's car
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
