I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
