Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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