Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
