I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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