I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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