Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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