HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm getting married
To pizza
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
