wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
