So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
