pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
