I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
