I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
