Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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