Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
When are your genitals available?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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