Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
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We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
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First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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