me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
