Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating