Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.

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  (313): Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite. http://tfl.nu/pt3f
  Replies (3) Good night (1184) Bad night (2959)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too

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  (781): i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too http://tfl.nu/262s
  Replies (17) Good night (3391) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.

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  (954): I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs. http://tfl.nu/kpvs
  Replies (37) Good night (1855) Bad night (3671)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays

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  (224): Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays http://tfl.nu/pg2c
  Replies (19) Good night (7036) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!

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  (818): That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister! http://tfl.nu/bmda
  Replies (20) Good night (7033) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?

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  (941): Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"? http://tfl.nu/trim
  Replies (60) Good night (3275) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.

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  (860): Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried. http://tfl.nu/p6ag
  Replies (13) Good night (2602) Bad night (4590)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.

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  (706): Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks. http://tfl.nu/8xp5
  Replies (1) Good night (2666) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..

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  (212): You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark.. http://tfl.nu/eret
  Replies (12) Good night (2174) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.

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  (832): Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome. http://tfl.nu/ycrs
  Replies (7) Good night (817) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.

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  (615): I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it. http://tfl.nu/knuw
  Replies (7) Good night (1414) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.

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  (801): The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting. http://tfl.nu/bouz
  Replies (3) Good night (1007) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night

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  (562): Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night http://tfl.nu/ygnc
  Replies (4) Good night (959) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.

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  (813): I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry. http://tfl.nu/1un5
  Replies (7) Good night (469) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.

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  (915): He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time. http://tfl.nu/i5m8
  Replies (2) Good night (262) Bad night (516)

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