he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
