This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
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Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
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he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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