also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
