and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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